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'CSI'

Last Episode:
03/11 Neverland
Review
Next Episode:
04/01 The Panty Sniffer

'CSI: Miami'

Last Episode:
03/15 Hostile Takeover (R)
Review
Next Episode:
03/22 Dishonor

'CSI: New York'

Last Episode:
03/17 LAT 40° 47' N/Long 73° 58'W (R)
Review
Next Episode:
03/24 Cuckoo's Nest (R)
Review

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Sep 13 - Rodriguez Looks Forward To New Roles
The actor will miss 'Miami', but he is open to doing movies and television.

Sep 13 - 'New York' And 'Miami' Switch To Digital
Both spinoffs opt for digital production, but 'CSI' sticks with traditional film.

Sep 11 - Review: 'The Conversation'
'CSI: NY' star Hill Harper delves into relationships between Black men and women and takes a good, hard look at his own relationships in this groundbreaking new book.

Sep 12 - Shankar: The Theme This Year Is Family
Details emerge for all three 'CSI' series as the new season approaches. Contains spoilers!

Sep 10 - Rodriguez Lands 'Ugly Betty' Role
ABC secures the 'Miami' actor for at least five episodes. Contains minor spoilers.

Sep 10 - Vassey Hopes To Leave The Lab
The 'CSI' actress discusses fieldwork and several female costars. Contains minor spoilers.

Sep 10 - Buckley: Adam Finally Gets Some Love
The 'New York' actor talks about what's in store for season six. Contains minor spoilers.

Sep 8 - Review: 'Level 26: Dark Origins'
CSI Files reviews Anthony E Zuiker's new Digi-Novel 'Level 26: Dark Origins', which centers on an elite unit tracking a one-of-a-kind serial killer called Sqweegel.

Sep 7 - 'Level 26' And 'The Conversation' Available Tuesday
Zuiker and Harper release books this week.

Sep 6 - This Week On 'CSI'
Repeats offer a victim boiled alive, a trip to Greece and a dead biker.

Sep 6 - Sinise: Military Shows Are Terrific
The 'New York' actor performs for American troops.

Sep 6 - News Bullets
'New York' auction, 'Level 26' compared to 'CSI', Events of the Heart pictures and guide to CBS TV online.

Sep 4 - News Bullets
Lombard returns, Rodriguez joins Tyler Perry, Hallowell calls Helgenberger 'gorgeous', Harper visits Wendy Williams, 'CSI' graphic novel and 'Miami' features automated lensometer.

Sep 1 - Interview: Bill Haynes
The 'CSI: NY' writer talks about his transition from being a real-life CSI to the writers' office, how cases from his career have inspired storylines and his upcoming sixth season episode. Very light spoilers inside!

Sep 2 - Zuiker 'Tiptoes' Away From 'CSI'
The 'CSI' creator gives new projects his attention but keeps an eye on the franchise. Contains minor spoilers.

 
By Carolina
March 28, 2006 - 1:18 AM

Hello World!

Last week, a new episode of Miami aired. A week later, my mouth is still open and I'm drooling a bit.

But not because Delko is so hot, not this time. Last week, Horatio Caine told his terminally ill girlfriend he will give her a baby. I don't remember what my initial reaction was. I think I passed out for about three minutes, then came to, then started laughing, and then had to have a smoke, then gently wept into my sofa cushion. For a moment there I thought it was a dream, and that I was reading fanfic instead, but alas, that wasn't the case. A woman who has cancer, and is going through chemotherapy, and only has a few months to live, will purposely get pregnant just because she's never had a baby before and she figures it would be really neat to bring a human being into this world and then abandon them wretchedly.

Motherhood is fun!

I'm not sure I get Marisol. She's either the most selfish cow on television today or is the stupidest character on television today. She claims she's not enjoying her life, and yet she spends the bulk of her time hanging out at a luxurious spa wearing a teeny bikini. She needs her brother to pay all her bills because she's so wretchedly sick she can't work, and yet she has a house that's bigger than most houses I've seen, wears expensive clothes, hair always perfect. She's so sick she can't eat, and yet she looks gorgeous and healthy. She's going to get pregnant (you know she will) even though chemotherapy in most cases leaves women barren. So if she does get pregnant, will she stop treatment? She's going to have a baby and then abandon it just for the hell of it? Yeah, I'm thinking selfish cow.

I keep trying to picture Horatio and Marisol trying to conceive this baby. They're supposedly in a relationship, and yet they don't kiss, they don't hug, they don't even touch each other. So the mechanics of this conception are already comedic gold. I'm thinking Marisol will stand in a white room and Horatio will step in front of her, put his Sunglasses of Justice on, and the sunglasses will emit a laser beam that will impregnate Marisol on impact. That way, they won't have to touch each other. Afterwards they'll shake hands and be on their merry way. Say what you will about the Horatio/Yelina storyline, but at least the two characters were tender together, more believable. This Horatio/Marisol storyline looks as sexy as the insides of my computer. It's so robotic.

I really hope this baby is more of a Delko than a Caine. I really, really hope that, because this child already has a miserable life to look forward to, at least it should look good and master a reasonably normal speech pattern.

Talk CSI Files threads

Below are some of the topics currently being discussed at Talk CSI:

- If you already have it, talk about the PC game 3 Dimensions of Murder in the Merchandise forum.

- In the CSI: Crime Scene Investigation forum people want to know, why do you like CSI so much?

- Does CSI bring your family together in front of the television or do you usually have to tell people to leave you alone when a new episode airs? Let us know in the CSI: General Discussion forum.

More topics can be found at the Talk CSI!

CSI Files Two Years Ago

  • Windy Reception For 'Miami' Shoot
    Miami crew ran into a little trouble while trying to shoot the episode "Not Landing."

  • 'CSI' Season 3 Released This Week
    The complete third season of CSI hit the stands, and the video game Dark Motives became available for purchase.

  • Hall Campaigns For Crime Lab Funds
    Robert David Hall (Dr. Al Robbins) wishes real life crime labs had the technology we see on CSI. "We'd like to see more of the high-tech stuff you see on TV spread around the country," he said. "All of the makers of all of this wonderful high-tech gear make sure that we get it, but we're one thing. The real crime labs are another."

For more interesting stories from that week, check out our news archives.

Poll Results

Below are the results of the most recent CSI Files poll:


How would you rate the 'CSI: New York' episode 'Necrophilia Americana?'
9-10 47.6% - (91 Votes)
7-8 18.8% - (36 Votes)
Didn't wanna see it. 16.2% - (31 Votes)
Wasn't able to see it. 10.4% - (20 Votes)
5-6 3.1% - (6 Votes)
3-4 2% - (4 Votes)
1-2 1.5% - (3 Votes)

Total Votes: 191

,Thanks to everyone who voted! Make sure you vote in our next poll,

Why can't the CSIs get dates?
All work and no play makes Greg a blue boy.
It probably has something to do with the fact that every time Horatio Caine has sex with a woman, she dies.
Shower sex loses its allure when there's lemons involved.
These people collect body fluids for a living. Then again, if David the coroner can get laid...
They can get dates, I bet. We just don't see it.
Three words: Hank the Skank.

Happy Birthday!

Gerald McCullough (Bobbie Dawson) and Adam Rodriguez (Eric Delko) will celebrate their birthdays on March 30th and April 2nd respectively. Happy birthday to both from everyone at CSI Files!

This Week On TV

  • Tonight at 10:00pm, CSI: Miami's episode "Urban Hellraisers" will air again on CBS. Here's how the network described it:

    "Delko witnesses a bank robbery and the CSIs soon discover that the culprits are playing out the action from the videogame "Urban Hellraisers" on the streets of Miami. As they score points for each crime committed, the CSIs must discover what consists of getting to the next level in the game in order to stop the culprits before they strike again."

  • On Wednesday night at 10pm, CBS will air the new CSI: New York episode "Live Or Let Die." Here's a brief synopsis:

    "Mac, Sheldon, Danny and Det. Flack's only witness is an unconscious helicopter pilot, but their initial clues lead the CSIs to suspect that the helicopter hijacking may have been an inside job. Meanwhile, the rape and murder of a restaurant hostess found in an alley shocks Stella and Lindsay when they discover that she anonymously engaged in phone sex with her patrons, leaving a suspect list a mile long."

  • CSI returns after a brief hiatus with the episode "Unusual Suspects," which airs on Thursday night at 9/8c on CBS. Here's how the network described it:

    "A sister's stunning courtroom confession throws her brother's guilt into question. Blindsided, the CSIs must race to re-examine the case's evidence in order to determine which sibling is telling the truth, but begin to suspect that a more sinister scheme may be at work."

In addition to the above episodes on CBS, cable channel SpikeTV will of course continue its daily CSI repeats.

Discuss this news item at Talk CSI!
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Find more episode info in the Episode Guide.

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Why can't the CSIs get dates?
All work and no play makes Greg a blue boy.
It probably has something to do with the fact that every time Horatio Caine has sex with a woman, she dies.
Shower sex loses its allure when there's lemons involved.
These people collect body fluids for a living. Then again, if David the coroner can get laid...
They can get dates, I bet. We just don't see it.
Three words: Hank the Skank.

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