{"id":7641,"date":"2009-09-28T17:09:21","date_gmt":"2009-09-29T00:09:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.csifiles.com\/content\/?p=7641"},"modified":"2009-09-28T17:09:21","modified_gmt":"2009-09-29T00:09:21","slug":"la-rue-advises-mothers-to-forgive-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.csifiles.com\/content\/2009\/09\/la-rue-advises-mothers-to-forgive-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"La Rue Advises Mothers To &#8216;Forgive Yourself&#8217;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Actress <b>Eva La Rue<\/b> (Natalia Boa Vista) balances her job on <i>CSI: Miami<\/i> with being a single mother to her seven-year-old daughter, <b>Kaya<\/b>.<\/p>\n<p>\n<!--more-->Balancing work, family, music and charity isn&#8217;t an easy job for La Rue. &#8220;It&#8217;s tough,&#8221; she said. &#8220;Any mom who tells you that she does it effortlessly is not telling the truth. You feel like you&#8217;re never quite doing enough or giving 100 percent to one or the other. Something is always going to slide, so you kind of pick your spots. If it&#8217;s a really important episode, you give 100 percent of your attention to the episode and if it&#8217;s not, then you&#8217;re giving 110 percent to your kid and your life and the rest of your family.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>\nNobody can do it all, La Rue said. &#8220;Forgive yourself,&#8221; she advised. &#8220;You&#8217;re always going to feel guilty about something. If there&#8217;s one piece of valuable information I wish I had in the beginning, it&#8217;s this \u2014 allow yourself the guilt. It&#8217;s okay. There&#8217;s no way around it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>\nThe actress said she doesn&#8217;t have a role model for parenting because &#8220;everyone&#8217;s struggling to keep the balance.&#8221; She added, &#8220;There are people that look like they&#8217;re doing it brilliantly and maybe they are, but maybe they just look like that from the outside. Unfortunately if you measure yourself up against other people that look like they&#8217;re doing it well, you&#8217;re never going to feel like you&#8217;re doing okay.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>\nFor La Rue, the hardest part has been &#8220;[n]avigating the single-mother waters with a little girl.&#8221; The actress was engaged last year, but she and <b>Joe Cappuccio<\/b> broke up. &#8220;Kaya was very attached to him and I really didn&#8217;t know how to walk her through the break-up,&#8221; La Rue revealed. &#8220;She didn&#8217;t get a say in that and yet she was pretty heart-broken. When someone gradually leaves your life, that&#8217;s one thing because you get used to the end of it. When somebody disappears, it takes all of your control away. It leaves you frantic and that [break-up] left her in a frantic space because she had no control over it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>\nLa Rue got in touch with Cappuccio several months later and asked him to contact Kaya. &#8220;It put her back in the power position of saying &#8216;I&#8217;ll call him when I want to and he&#8217;ll talk to me and say he misses me and we&#8217;ll have a conversation that doesn&#8217;t include Mama at all,'&#8221; the actress explained. &#8220;As soon as she was able to have those conversations whenever she wanted to, she didn&#8217;t want to anymore. She controlled the situation again. A lot of my friends were against that. A lot of them said she&#8217;ll just get over it but she really wasn&#8217;t and she really needed to get closure herself.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>\nLa Rue has been dating a single father for about five months. &#8220;I have a rule of thumb now and that&#8217;s that somebody has to have been married and they have to have had kids,&#8221; she said of her new dating guidelines. &#8220;Everything boils down to perspective. If your potential mate does not have the same perspective that you do then you&#8217;re going to be lost.&#8221; One thing La Rue has done to make things easier on her daughter is keep her life and her boyfriend&#8217;s life more separate. &#8220;She knows him and we spend time together with all the kids playing and hanging out and stuff, but it&#8217;s a friendlier relationship where there&#8217;s no chance of getting super attached to anyone,&#8221; she said.<\/p>\n<p>\nThe actress brings her daughter to the <i>Miami<\/I> set, but she doesn&#8217;t let her watch the show. &#8220;[I]t&#8217;s a little scary,&#8221; La Rue revealed. &#8220;It&#8217;s a little dark and people are always dead in the beginning and it&#8217;s a little gruesome but she does come to the set a lot. The hair and makeup department will always sit her in the chair and give her wounds or black eyes or scrapes so that she can see that it&#8217;s all pretend. She LOOOOOVES that. The only problem is that she walks around and says, &#8216;My mama did this to me.&#8217; I have to tell her &#8216;Hold on a second. That wasn&#8217;t quite the deal.'&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Actress Eva La Rue (Natalia Boa Vista) balances her job on CSI: Miami with being&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2907],"tags":[2947],"class_list":["post-7641","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-csi-m","tag-la-rue"],"featured_image_urls":{"full":"","thumbnail":"","medium":"","medium_large":"","large":"","1536x1536":"","2048x2048":"","newsphere-slider-full":"","newsphere-featured":"","newsphere-medium":""},"author_info":{"display_name":"Rachel","author_link":"https:\/\/www.csifiles.com\/content\/author\/rachel\/"},"category_info":"<a href=\"https:\/\/www.csifiles.com\/content\/categories\/csi-m\/\" rel=\"category tag\">CSI: Miami<\/a>","tag_info":"CSI: Miami","comment_count":"0","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.csifiles.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7641","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.csifiles.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.csifiles.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.csifiles.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.csifiles.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7641"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.csifiles.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7641\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7642,"href":"https:\/\/www.csifiles.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7641\/revisions\/7642"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.csifiles.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7641"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.csifiles.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7641"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.csifiles.com\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7641"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}